Album: The Ever Decreasing Circle – Artist: The Kipper Family

There were three men came out of the East
Their fortunes for to try
And these three men made a solemn vow
Joan Sugarbeet should die
They plowed, they sowed, they harrowed her in
Threw clods upon her head
And these three men made a solemn vow
Joan Sugarbeet was dead

They let her lie for a very long time
Till the rain from heaven did fall
Then little lady Joan sprung uo her head
And soon amazed them all
They let her stand till midwinter
Till she looked both flaccid and green
And little Lady Joan she grew a big bottom
And so became a queen

They hired men with hands so strong
To pull her out of bed
They cut her in half around the waist
And threw away her head
They hired men with sharp pitchforks
Who piled her by the road
But the driver he served her worse than that
For he threw her upon his load

They rolled her along and along the road
Till at Cantley they did meet
And there they made a bloody great stack
Of poor Joan Sugarbeet
They hired men with choppers so huge
To chop her into bits
And the Sugar Corporation served her worse than that
For they drowned her in a pit

Here’s little Lady Joan in a china cup
And lumps all in a bowl
And little Lady Joan in the china cup
She proved the sweeter girl
For the office boy can’t balance his books
Nor keep his desk so neat
And the housewife can’t enjoy her cup of P. G. Tips
Without a little bit of Joan Sugarbeet