Album: Fresh Yesterday – Artist: The Kipper Family

Well as I come home on Monday night, I’d had nothing at all to drink.
I saw a horse behind the door, that made me stop and think.
A coat, some boots, a pipe I spied, and then upstairs I ran.
And there in bed beside my wife, a great big hairy man.
Oh must you come barging in she cried, you put him off his thrust.
For me and the village smithy we, are practising our lust.

Well, as I come home each night, my troubles all begin,
For there’s the missus practising, the seven deadly sins.

Well as I come home on Tuesday night, as sober as a judge.
I saw no tea upon my plate where my old tea should lodge.
So I called my wife, and I said to her, well here’s a rum old do.
I’ve got no tea upon my plate is it something to do with you.
Oh I’ve sinned, I’ve sinned, I’ve sinned she said there’s nothing for your tea,
For I have been a-practising the sin of gluttony.

Well as I come home on Wednesday night,as dry as any old bone.
I saw the cat all on the stairs, where that should not have gone.
So I called my wife, and I said to her, well what’s all this here then,
Why is the cat all on the stairs, where that should never have been.
Oh I’m upstairs practising pride she said, in my best Sunday hat.
Pride come before a fall says I, and then I fell over the cat.

Well as I come home on Thursday night,my tongue all hanging out.
I saw no books upon the shelf, they was all strewn about.
So I called my wife, and I said to her, don’t tell me let me guess,
You’ve found another deadly sin that’s called untidyness.
No ! I’m a-trying to find out what covetousness means,
I wish I owned that dictionary we saw round at the Deans.